Your marriage has ended now what?
So many thoughts, emotions and memories flood your mind and body at the same time.
At times you don’t know if you’re in the middle of a bad dream or if this is really happening.
The ending of a marriage is debilitating and paralyzing.
When you decided to get married you thought about a future with that person, getting old, traveling together, raising kids together.
This is not what you pictured.
Now this is your reality.
While other families are planning vacations or traveling, or doing things as a family unit, you are trying to figure out what to do next with your life.
Which feels like you’re hanging on by a thread.
Uncertainty, fear and overwhelming thoughts surround you.
How are you ever going to get through this?
I’ve been where you are.
There are 5 major lessons I learned on my road to moving on and letting go and I’m going to...
Remember how you felt on your wedding day.
Full of joy and anticipation.
Mostly excited to party with friends and family after months and months of wedding planning.
Now you’re someone's wife and you get to call him your husband.
It's like a club and since you were a little girl, you've been waiting to get into.
And now that day is here.
It’s every girl's dream.
Do you remember looking at bridal magazines as a young girl and happily planning your big day as they call it, in your mind.
You knew the dress you wanted, the flowers and even what your ring looked like.
I know I did. Strapless Swarovski crystal lace dress with cali lilies and roses and a princess cut with side baguette platinum ring.
I loved spending time at my local library.
Back then we didn't have the simple pleasure known as the internet in our house so i spent many days in the library doing school work.
You're probably thinking, what the hell is a "going with the flow" type?
Well my friend, I made up the term on a coaching call with one of my clients in my entrepreneurial mentorship program..true story.
We were talking about something, where she completely gave up control of a situation in her life.
She didn't do anything.
She didn't react or respond.
She didn't try and change her thoughts around it.
She didn't ask herself what she wanted instead.
What she did was apply the statement "I'm going with the flow" to her everyday life.
That going with the flow mentality cost her thousands of lost dollars in her business.
She didn't consciously do something to lose that much money but it was what she didn’t do that allowed someone else to control the outcome of what happened to her.
That's when I broke down the two types for her and the term was created..Viola!
(Can you tell I've been playing lots of magic games with my kids lately?)
So, what’s the...
Have you ever just quit something? Like full on had enough and didn't want to do it anymore? Well that was me the other day.
Usually, when someone quits something you hear a lot of, I’m sorry, what happened? Well, what if quitting wasn't a bad thing?
What if there was nothing to be sorry about and deciding to quit was actually a good thing??
I quit putting my energy into something that wasn't serving me anymore. I quit giving my power, thoughts, emotions, and energy to someone that just wasn't receptive to what I was sending out.
And wow! What an incredible feeling to walk away from a situation like that.
Most people think of quitting as giving up or throwing the towel in but when you realize that you're doing something and you're not getting the results you want and decide to adjust and recalibrate your plans then quitting is the best thing you could do.
We let ourselves stay in situations longer thinking something will...
And just like that we're in 2020! Happy new year! How many times have you heard that in the last few days?
Now we're here, so now what?
Have you written down your intentions for the new year? have you created a list of habits to go hand in hand with those intentions?
Now is the time to start taking action. Yes we have entered into a new year but really every moment is a moment to get closer to your desires.
It just so happens that the beginning of the year is when people really start thinking about resetting their priorities in life. They start reevaluating their life.
We so often think that we need to wait for THIS to happen before we can feel THIS. The truth is when we keep the space of waiting, we create the energy for waiting. And the things we want take longer to show up.
The real magic is being present and taking action towards what you want every day. Not waiting for something to happen to feel good.
I hear this all the time, Vita i know i need to change this but I can't do it, i just can't do it, i don't know how.
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So your marriage just ended. Now what? Aside from losing your partner in crime, your best friend, you now have to establish a new mode of living. From organizing your home, possibly moving, and trying to hide the memories of what once was, the divorce process is a roller coaster of emotions.
Some days are harder than others. Songs that come on the radio, shows that you use to watch together, friends that you use to hang out with, are now behind you.
How can you go from intertwining your life with someone to feeling so alone and alienated? For your friends and family that have never been through this process, they will never understand what you’re going through. No matter how hard they try, no one gets it unless you’ve been through it. It’s just one of those things in life that you have to experience in order to fully get it.
Moving on from your marriage is more than just moving on from your marriage. It’s a little...
As I look back on my past week, I realized that it was a week full of lessons thrown my way. I was reminded once again to stand my ground, feel more love, less anger, and have unshakable faith in my belief system and vision. What a week, right?!
I am a big believer in creating your own path. Aligning our thoughts and our feelings to create the future we want. Sometimes though, life still hands you experiences that need your attention in order to get to the next step. This week proved that I still had some work to do in some areas of my life.
When you think of someone being bullied do you think of middle school, high school or even elementary school kids? That’s what immediately pops into my mind when I hear the term bully. Merriam-Webster’s definition of a “bully” says “to treat someone in a cruel, insulting, threatening or aggressive fashion; to cause someone to do something by means of force or coercion”. Now what...